Before I Called You Mine

Have you ever started reading a book without really understanding what it is you’re about to experience? Before I Called You Mine by Nicole Deese is just such a book. I found it by accident—I wasn’t familiar with the author, but the cover and the title drew me in. Once I started reading it, I found it hard to put down.

Before I Called You Mine is the story of first-grade teacher, Lauren Bailey, whose love of children leads her to pursue international adoption. The author paints a beautiful picture of the challenges adoptive parents face, both in the waiting and after the adoption takes place. As Lauren struggles against giving up hope, one of her wise friends tells her, “Right now your child is sitting across the world in an orphanage, waiting for you, too. You may not know your child’s name yet or what their face looks like when they laugh or cry, but God has already gone before you in this. He’s already connected your heart to theirs in a way only He can. I know the wait can feel excruciating while on this side of things, but it’s not in vain. There is purpose in the waiting, Lauren. Don’t allow yourself to lose sight of that.”

Even if we’ve never been involved in adoption first-hand, we all know what it’s like to find ourselves waiting on God for the answer to a prayer—a new job, healing from illness, the return of a prodigal child, etc. Waiting is never easy!

The duo Shane and Shane sing a song called, “I Will Wait for You,” based on Psalm 130. The chorus says,
                I will wait for You. I will wait for You.
                On Your Word I will rely
                I will wait for You, surely wait for You
                Till my soul is satisfied.
Psalm 130:7 sums it up: “O Israel, hope in the LORD! For with the LORD there is steadfast love, and with Him is plentiful redemption.”
 
The answer to waiting on the Lord is to rely on His Word and His promises. In His Word we find comfort, encouragement, strength, peace, and God Himself. As we lean into Him, we begin to give up feelings of stress and worry, and instead we find we can trust in His whispered reassurances and perfect timing.

In the author’s notes at the end of the book, she wrote: “Before I Called You Mine is my tenth novel. And while I’m usually partial to my most recent manuscript, there is something vastly different about this story’s hold on my heart. Because so much of the journey found in these pages—of this struggle to live out the kind of faith that often calls us to the edges of ourselves—is my story, too . . . my ultimate hope for this story isn’t about the events of the climax at all; it’s about you. Specifically, it’s about a question I hope you’ll ask yourself: What is the hard that God’s asking me to partner with Him in?”

Who knew that reading a book about adoption would bring the reader to the point of the “struggle to live out the kind of faith that often calls us to the edge of ourselves”? This is where the “rubber meets the road,” where we identify with characters in the Bible who found themselves on the edge. I started to name some of them, but then realized that all of the characters in the Bible at some point, had to come to that same place, because it’s there that we have to decide whether to take God at His word or succumb to our fears and insecurities.

But then comes the author’s other question: “What is the hard that God’s asking me to partner with Him in?”

I have recently begun volunteering at a Christian pregnancy center and even though it brings me joy, it has been hard. I get to see God’s hand at work every time I’m there, but it’s tough to see young girls and women in crisis, faced with the decision to keep a baby and raise it, give it up for adoption or, sadly, to abort it. It’s never easy watching someone dealing with the consequences of a poor decision, but God can bring good out of a bad situation, even abortion, and it builds my faith and confirms to me the promise found in 2 Chronicles 16:9: “For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward Him.”

None of us is perfect and God knows it, but He loves us anyway. Even though this book told the story of a woman who adopts a child, it made me realize we are all children in need of adoption. Ephesians 4:4-7 reiterates this: “But when the fullness of time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we might receive adoption as sons [daughters]. And because you are sons [daughters], God has sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, ‘Abba, Father!’ So you are no longer a slave, but a son [daughter], and if a son [daughter], then an heir through God.”

I pray this humbles you as it does me, and lets you know you’re not alone in whatever it is you’re struggling through right now. If you’ve accepted your adoption in Christ, embrace it and the whole of God’s love for you! Bring your cares and concerns to Him, because He truly cares for you, and wants to hold your hand through the hard that He’s asking you to partner in with Him.

I commend moms and dads who have walked through the difficult journey of adoption as it is a definite hard. God will surely bless you for your selflessness and desire to serve Him in this way. I’m thankful God gave Nicole Deese this story to tell because I know it will bless those who read it, and may even plant a seed, or confirm, in someone’s heart about adding to their family through adoption.

​Blessings to you!
Lori 

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